Is it beautiful if you don't make it?

Every Sunday we have an evening service where all the interns and camp directors come together and have a time of sharing about our weeks and worship and a speaker. During the sharing/testimony time this Sunday, one of the Assistant Directors (AD) who has grown up in Camden and in the Urban Promise program shared. He said that he knows the reality of these kids. And he knows the reality is that most of these kids won't make it. Some of them will, but most of them will end up in jail or on the streets or with drug addictions or in some other way fall short of the dreams that he has for them. This AD shared about how much love he has for these kids and how much it hurts him to know that so many of them will not grow up to be all that they can be and to be one of the success stories that all of us Urban Promise staff pray for so diligently.

The AD was so broken sharing about these kids. He brought up our shirts that say "life is a beautiful struggle" on them. He asserted the thought that life is a beautiful struggle if you make it, if you get through the struggles and come out on top. He then posed the question: is it still beautiful if you don't make it?

Ms. Pam, the lovely wife of Bruce, the president of Urban Promise, got up in front of the group and shared her response to the AD's broken question. She believes that yes, the struggle is still beautiful even when you don't make it. Ms. Pam reminded all of us that we all struggle. And that the struggle is part of the beauty.

This AD and Ms. Pam got me thinking. We all have struggles. Our lives are never even close to perfect. The interns and other staff have been faced with a lot of struggles this week. But there has been beauty in the struggle. Relationships have deepened in my house because we've been able to support each other in struggle. Struggle allows people to relate to one another. You find yourself in another person when you can see the hurt in their eyes and know that you have looked in the mirror and seen that same raw pain staring back at you. The beauty is in the fight, in the struggle. The beauty is in letting that struggle allow you to reach out to another person. The beauty is joining hands with those around you.

This AD is absolutely correct, not all of these kids will make it. They will all struggle. But their lives are beautiful. When they make it, there is much rejoicing and when they don't, there is much sadness, but in all circumstances, there is beauty and there is a lesson to be learned.

The Dangers of Duck Duck Goose

I forgot how dangerous duck duck goose can be. I had more injuries in my class this week playing duck duck goose than playing any other game! Kids cracked their heads on the cement gym floor, they scraped their knees, fingers got accidentally stepped on, a little first grader jammed my thumb chasing me around the circle, it was crazy! In the midst of all the tears and "I'm sorry's" and "are you ok's?" we all had so much fun. It's such a joy to just let the kids be kids and run around and play with each other; scraped knees and stepped-on fingers don't seem to hurt as badly when we're having fun.

I was reminded yet again this week at how bad I am at basketball. Please feel free to laugh! One of the third graders, Zyair (I wrote about him in a previous post) got to go swimming this week for the first time ever (swimming is a privilege and a reward for good behavior). He was so full of nervous excitment when he came into camp on Thursday. He was dribbling the basketball and saw me watching him and challenged me to try to steal it from him. You must understand that Zyair is an amazing basketball player, he's so talented. You should also understand that I have no talent when it comes to basketball. Zero. Zyair started dribbling agian, back and forth between his hands and through his legs. I just started laughing because he was making me dizzy! Eventually I stole it from him but I was suspicious. I held the ball and looked at him and asked him if he was taking it easy on me. He just looked up at me with this little smirk on his face and nodded his head. I laughed and threw the ball back to him and the process started all over again!

Life is a Beautiful Struggle

Look out, this might be a long one, it's been a while.

One of our shirts for the summer has "life is a beautiful struggle" written on the back of it. As the second week of camp is coming to a close, the truth of this simple phrase has become more and more clear to me. There are two twin brothers that come to camp, Zion and Zyair. They are fourth graders, sons of a mother of ten children, energetic, passionate about each other, their family, and of course, basketball. They are also severely ADHD and probably have some developmental and learning delays. Life is a beautiful struggle for them. Sometimes they are medicated - when their mom can afford it. When they are taking their medication, they are calm and well-behaved, but they are so subdued it almost hurts to watch them walking through life as if they were fighting their way through a thick fog. when they are not taking their medication, Lord have mercy, its a beautiful struggle. Zion and Zyair are all over the place. They get into arguments with the other campers so much more and are often forced to sit out of their classes for disciplinary reasons. But they are so energetic and so driven in their own way. You can almost see the wheels turning as they process things and bounce from one thing to another in a way that exhausts me just to watch them. We all hate to see them get in trouble as often as they do because they try so hard and they just can't fight past the mental blocks that are in their way. it is clear to me that in such a large family and with cousins and other extended family living with them that they don't always get the attention that they need and that they deserve. It breaks my heart. Life is a beautiful struggle. I am reminded of this when I see Zion and Zyair at camp. They are two beautiful lives with so much to offer growing up in a sea of struggle. I just pray that others will see the beauty in their struggle and give them the chance that they deserve.

American Gladiator Urban Style

Allow me to share with you a few of the reasons I love UrbanPromise:

• I can take an ice-cold shower because we have no hot water in the one shower
• I can enjoy the wonderful smells of injustice in a city that has been taken advantage of by the state that is supposed to support it i.e. the trash incinerator and the waste water treatment plant
• I get to spend my day with other interns who are just as crazy as I am
• Jerry Alvarez is the best mom away from home there is
• At the end of a long day of orientation sessions we get to play American Gladiator

My team is awesome and so far we're all getting along marvelously. The two Assistant Directors/Field Supervisors/House Managers are fantastic. They both grew up in Camden and came through the UrbanPromise program and it's a real treat to work and live with them. PTL everyone arrived safely and made it through the day without injury (last year we sent two interns to the ER after Team Survivor - the American Gladiator of last year)

Bonus for the day: my team thinks I'm a beast, thank you American Gladiator!

Here I Go!

I'm leaving for Camden today!!!